Revenge Jokes in English part 5

Given jokes will be long but very interesting. All jokes given below in English language. This is related to revenge.

Ultimate Revenge

A Manager, his Assistant, one old
woman and her young daughter are
traveling in a train and during the
course of time get themselves
introduced to each other and
become temporary friends. The train
goes through a tunnel and it gets
completely dark. Suddenly there is a
kissing sound and then a SLAP !!
The train comes out of the tunnel.
The women and the Assistant are
sitting there looking perplexed. The
Manager is bending over holding his
face, which is red from an apparent
slap. All of them remain diplomatic
and nobody says anything.
The Old woman is thinking:
These Managers are all crazy after
girls. He must have kissed my
daughter in the tunnel. Very proper
that she slapped him.
The Young girl is thinking:
The Manager must have tried to kiss
me but kissed my mother instead
and got slapped.
The Manager is thinking:
Damn it. My Assistant must have
kissed the young girl. She might
have thought it was me and slapped
me.
The Assistant is thinking:
If this train goes through another
tunnel I will make another kissing
sound and slap my Manager again.

Do you have your own funny jokes in English? no matter it will long or short. You can publish it here by the comments. Do not wait just publish here.

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English Jokes Part 2

This is the part two for English Jokes in different category. This two jokes which is given below is related to Pappu Jokes and Question & answer based jokes.

Death came To Pappu and said “my

Death came To Pappu and said “my
friend Pappu today is your day”.
Pappu said
“but i am not ready” and death said,
“well you are next on my list.” so
Pappu tried
to plead with death but
it Refused,
“Ok why don’t u take a sit while I
get you something to eat before we
go.?”
the Pappu said while shaking…
and death said “al-right then.”Pappu
gave
death some food and had a wicked
thought of adding poison on it, but
said to Himself, ‘since it is Death,
poison
won’t have any effect on it,’ so he
added
some sleeping pills in it, Death
finished eating
and fell asleep when asleep, Pappu
took the Death
list, Removed his name from top of
the
list and Wrote it at the bottom of the
list. So
when Death woke up he said to
Pappu, “Because you have been so
nice to Me with much hospitality
that I even Fell asleep, I will start the
LIST FROM THE BOTTOM!!

Teacher Fell Asleep In Class And

Teacher Fell Asleep In Class And
Pappu Walked Up To Him,
Pappu : “Teacher Are You Sleeping
In Class?”
Teacher : “No I Am Not Sleeping In
Class.”
Pappu : “What Were You Doing Sir ?”
Teacher : ” I Was Talking To God.”
The Next Day Pappu Fell Asleep In
Class And The Same
Teacher Walks Up To Him
Teacher : “Young Man, You Are
Sleeping In My Class.”
Pappu : “No Not Me Sir, I Am Not
Sleeping.”
Angry Teacher: “What Were You
Doing.??”
Pappu : “I Was Talking To God.”
Angry Teacher: “What Did He Say??”
Pappu : “God Said He Never Spoke To
You Yesterday”

Reason why you should never visit a 5 star Hotel.

Reason why you should never visit a 5 star Hotel.
Question : “What would you like to
have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee ?”
Answer : “tea please”
Question : ” Ceylon tea, Herbal tea,
Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or
green tea ?”
Answer : “Ceylon tea ”
Question : “How would you like it ?
black or white ?”
Answer : “white”
Question : “Milk, Whitener, or
Condensed milk ?”
Answer : “With milk ”
Question : “Goat milk, Camel milk or
cow milk”
Answer : “With cow milk please.
Question : ” Milk from Freeze land
cow or Afrikaner cow ?”
Answer : ” Um, I’ll take it black. ”
Question : ” Would you like it with
sweetener, sugar or honey ?”
Answer : “With sugar”
Question : ” Beet sugar or cane
sugar ?”
Answer : “Cane sugar ”
Question : ” White, brown or yellow
sugar ?”
Answer : “Forget about tea just give
me a glass of water instead.”
Question : “Mineral water or still
water ? ”
Answer : “Mineral water”
Question : “Flavored or non-
flavored ?”
Answer : “I’ll rather die of thirst”

Above given three English jokes.

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English Jokes Part 1

Let’s see some English jokes which is given in this article.

A drunk man arrives late at home.

A drunk man arrives late at home.
He knows his wife won’t open the
door, so he decides to pretend he
bought her flowers & knocks at the
door.
Wife: Who is it ?
Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty
lady.
Wife opens the door & says: Where
are the flowers?
Drunk: Where is the pretty lady?

One day I met a sweet woman and

One day I met a sweet woman and
fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I
made the supreme sacrifice and
gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday,
my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the
countryside I called my wife and told
her that I would be late because I
had to walk home. On my way, I
passed by a small diner and the
odour of baked beans was more
than I could stand. With miles to
walk, I figured that I would walk off
any ill effects by the time I reached
home, so I stopped at the diner and
before I knew it, I had consumed
three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I
released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed
excited to see! me and exclaimed
delightedly: “Darling I have a
surprise for dinner tonight.”
She then blindfolded me and led me
to my chair at the dinner table. I
took a seat and just as she was
about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. She made me
promise not to touch the blindfold
until she returned and went to
answer the call. The baked beans I
had consumed were still affecting
me and the pressure was becoming
most unbearable, so while my wife
was out of the room I seized the
opportunity, shifted my weight to
one leg and let one go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk
in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my
napkin from my lap and fanned the
air around me vigorously. Then,
shifting to the other cheek, I ripped
off three more. The stink was worse
than cooked cabbage. Keeping my
ears carefully tuned to the
conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few
minutes. The pleasure was
indescribable. When eventually the
telephone farewells signalled the
end of my freedom, I quickly fanned
the air a few more times with my
napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my hands back on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with
myself. My face must have been the
picture of innocence when my wife
returned, apologizing for taking so
long. She asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured
her I had not. At this point, she
removed the blindfold, and twelve
dinner guests seated around the
table chorused: “Happy Birthday!” I
fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!

So two English Jokes given above.
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