English Jokes Part 1

Let’s see some English jokes which is given in this article.

A drunk man arrives late at home.

A drunk man arrives late at home.
He knows his wife won’t open the
door, so he decides to pretend he
bought her flowers & knocks at the
door.
Wife: Who is it ?
Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty
lady.
Wife opens the door & says: Where
are the flowers?
Drunk: Where is the pretty lady?

One day I met a sweet woman and

One day I met a sweet woman and
fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I
made the supreme sacrifice and
gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday,
my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the
countryside I called my wife and told
her that I would be late because I
had to walk home. On my way, I
passed by a small diner and the
odour of baked beans was more
than I could stand. With miles to
walk, I figured that I would walk off
any ill effects by the time I reached
home, so I stopped at the diner and
before I knew it, I had consumed
three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I
released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed
excited to see! me and exclaimed
delightedly: “Darling I have a
surprise for dinner tonight.”
She then blindfolded me and led me
to my chair at the dinner table. I
took a seat and just as she was
about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. She made me
promise not to touch the blindfold
until she returned and went to
answer the call. The baked beans I
had consumed were still affecting
me and the pressure was becoming
most unbearable, so while my wife
was out of the room I seized the
opportunity, shifted my weight to
one leg and let one go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk
in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my
napkin from my lap and fanned the
air around me vigorously. Then,
shifting to the other cheek, I ripped
off three more. The stink was worse
than cooked cabbage. Keeping my
ears carefully tuned to the
conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few
minutes. The pleasure was
indescribable. When eventually the
telephone farewells signalled the
end of my freedom, I quickly fanned
the air a few more times with my
napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my hands back on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with
myself. My face must have been the
picture of innocence when my wife
returned, apologizing for taking so
long. She asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured
her I had not. At this point, she
removed the blindfold, and twelve
dinner guests seated around the
table chorused: “Happy Birthday!” I
fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!

So two English Jokes given above.
Click here for Part 2
Click here for Part 3
Click here for Part 4
Click here for Part 5

Click here for English Jokes Series.

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